Wednesday, May 30, 2012
I'm scared of semi trucks, even if they are parked and the engine is off. (was in a car accident as a young child with a semi truck and the fear has remained my entire life)
I'm scared of having my panic attacks in public places.
I worry that my house is never picked up enough for a visitor - even if it's clean, I still worry about that dust bunny under the couch.
I'm scared of not being accepted for who I am. (my scars from childhood)
I'm scared of snakes - they give me the wicky willys.
I'm scared of being outside after dark alone.
I'm scared of the ocean - even though I know how to swim & was trained in water life-saving, I'm still terrified of large bodies of water.
I'm scared of my children suffering any type of pain or hurt. (including bullying)
I'm scared of having to bury another child, I've done it once, I never want to repeat it.
I'm scared of losing my husband too early in life. (he has 13 different diagnoses, thanks to his time in the military)
I'm scared of speaking publicly - I break down in tears every time.
I'm scared of traveling long distances alone.
I worry about my house burning down, I know this is totally illogical, but I've planned out exactly who would get which child, and still be able to grab my purse and our important papers along with my parents urns and my oldest daughter would gather up our 3 cats.
I'm scared of being judged by people reading this list. I feel totally vulnerable at the moment. Wow, this was a rough list to write. I'm sure there are more things that I am scared of... but I think this is enough for now.
Until next time...