Sunday, April 22, 2012

Where Does Internal Strength Come From?

I thought this picture which I grabbed off of Facebook today gave me a good launch for today's blog post.  This past week and has been unusually tough on me.  Not in the physical sense, but more the mental/emotional sense.  On Monday I was at the doctor's office with my son, when my husband called and stated that our 15 yr old daughter was having a breakdown in the bathroom at her school.  So while at the doctors I mentioned it to the doctor and he said to bring her in on an emergency basis. 

I got to the school to pick her up, she's sitting in the office still crying and I'm told that I need to talk to the Asst. Principal before I can pick her up.  So I go into his office and I am bombarded by him, the district nurse, my daughter's case manager and some other guy that I didn't even know.  The first thing out of the Asst. Principal's mouth was "you're daughter is playing you, she's quite manipulative" and goes on and on.  By this time I am fuming from every pore in my body, while still biting my tongue.  He told me that he couldn't legally stop me from picking up my daughter, but that it was a waste of time.  I mentioned to him that she has an emergency appointment with her psychiatrist, so that I was picking her up and taking her with me.

Once we got to the psychiatrists office, after talking with my daughter, he told me to withdraw her from school immediately or she would end up being admitted to the hospital again due to the massive amount of stress she was under.  She was currently decompressing, which was not good for her.  So when we got home, I did all of the paperwork online to homeschool my daughter and registered her for a virtual academy for next fall.  Ok, so all of this seems to be ok, but now I am not only mom but now teacher as well.  The next day I went to the high school to do a formal withdrawal and I was treated by the school as if I were the dirt on the bottom of someone's shoes.  But that's ok...  I know what my job is and that is to care for my daughter in any which way she needs.

But, while I think about everything that my daughter and I have been through this past week, it never seems to phase me that no matter what I am faced with, I always have the strength to get through it or over it... to move past it.  Where does this strength come from?  When I was a child I was never this strong, but it seems that once I became a mother, and with each child that I have had... I've become stronger and stronger.  I now call myself "momma polar bear" because I will protect my children with every cell in me.  I also feel that my strength comes from my ancestors, that they are tapped into me and when I feel I just can't handle much more, they step in and give me more strength.  I think about this a lot when I'm going through my daily life of raising my special needs children.  My children I believe were given to me because I have the strength to raise them and to care for their every need.

So...  I will say that you will be hearing from me a bit more soon, I've joined up with a Word Blogathon for the month of May, where I will blog every day in May.  Not sure what all I'll be blabbing about, but I hope you stick with me through it.  :-)

Also, I have a new website for my book... even though I'm still working on the book, I thought I would get a website to announce my book once it comes out.  :-)  The website address is:  Check it out if you have a moment.

Until next time....

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